


Not So Great Escape

by Gort



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alien themes, Alternate Universe, Area 51 mentions, Bobbi geeks out, Escape Rooms, F/M, Hunter is into it, Post-Canon, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 09:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19903648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gort/pseuds/Gort
Summary: Bobbi just wants to wrap up this mission, but Hunter keeps finding new ways to distract her. Or: Huntingbird in an escape room.





	Not So Great Escape

“I can’t belie-” Bobbi cut herself off. “No, you know what?”

There was a long pause. “Uh, what?” Hunter finally ventured.

“I never should have believed you in the first place!” Bobbi threw her hands up in the air. The twinkling lights draped across the ceiling blinked in a strange pattern like they were trying to tell her something.

“Bob-”

“Don’t you Bob me,” she said. “How long are we stuck in here, anyway?”

Hunter shrugged. “As long as it takes to figure out how to open the door? I think they kick us out after an hour though.”

Bobbi rubbed her temples. “So, what you’re saying is, we have to get through that door, or the intel we’ve been trying to get walks away.”

“He was real cagey,” Hunter offered. “I barely managed to get him to agree to this.”

“An escape room?” Bobbi hissed. “Seriously?” 

“The kid said it’s a great place to unwind.” Hunter’s voice softened, and he reached out, palm up, waiting. “Just you and me, with one whole hour to ourselves.” They’d been running this op at full speed since their arrival, and Bobbi was well aware she’d been pushing them hard. It was just…Mack had passed this job along, and she wanted to prove she still had it, to herself if no one else. Still, the world wouldn’t end if they slowed down a little.

Probably.

Reluctantly, Bobbi took Hunter’s hand, and the grin he gave her told her he knew he’d won. Dammit, she hated when he was right. “We’re not exactly alone,” she pointed out. The room they were in wasn’t large, but it was crammed full of bookshelves and junk, with a cozy chair in one corner. And in the center of everything, the pièce de résistance: an alien autopsy suite. Complete with alien.

“I’m pretty sure it’s fake,” Hunter said.

“Pretty sure?”

“This would be the best way to hide them, don’t you think? In plain sight?”

Bobbi sighed. “Oh my god, is this about the Area 51 thing?”

“It could be fun!”

“You are not joining a bunch of idiots out in the desert to storm a military facility.”

“That’s not what you said last time.”

“I’m sorry, are you comparing trained SHIELD agents on an approved mission to some internet yahoos with too much free time on their hands?”

“No,” Hunter said, not very convincingly.

Bobbi lifted an eyebrow, and he gave her one of his stupidly charming grins that absolutely didn’t work on her. “We’re not going.”

Hunter’s lower lip snuck out. “Fine,” he said. “But I get to choose where we’re going on our next vacation.”

“As long as it’s not Nevada.”

“You’re a very difficult wife, you know that?”

“So I’ve heard,” Bobbi said. “Weird how you still married me twice.”

“Yeah, well, you’re also my favorite wife.”

He tugged her a little closer and Bobbi leaned in, brushing a kiss across his lips. He let out a happy, rumbling noise that was one of her favorites before pulling away. “A whole hour, huh?” she said.

“Those are the rules,” Hunter said solemnly.

“And you always follow those,” Bobbi said, suppressing a smile. “So, what’s the plan.”

Hunter’s eyes lit up, and he grabbed her hips, spinning her around. “I think I found a clue.”

Bobbi blinked at the ‘I Want to Believe’ poster on the wall in front of them. “Uh, what?”

“Look!” Hunter directed her closer. “There’s some numbers on the alien ship.”

“It’s the serial number for the first Enterprise.”

“God, I love you,” Hunter said fervently. “Okay, so we’re probably looking for some kind of Star Trek thing, or another ship, or…”

“Babe,” Bobbi said, amused. “What are you doing?”

“Getting us out?” Hunter said, his brow furrowing. “Come on, the fastest time is like twenty-three and a half minutes, but I bet we can beat it.”

Bobbi turned and very deliberately leaned against him, fitting their hips together. “What if I said I’ve already solved it,” she said, leaning in for another kiss.

“You did?” Hunter asked, his surprised voice muffled by her mouth. “How?”

“Hunter.” Bobbi cradled his face in her hands. “Focus. We’ve got a good forty-five minutes to kill.”

“Right.” His arms curled around her waist and she tipped her head back as he kissed slowly down her neck, making her wait an excruciatingly long time between them. They swayed, and he tugged at her back pocket, turning them slightly.

“You’re looking for more clues, aren’t you,” Bobbi sighed.

“What?” Hunter sounded offended. “No, of course…” he trailed off as she narrowed her eyes. “Okay, fine, yes, maybe.”

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

“Which is what you love about me?” Hunter asked hopefully.

Bobbi let out a laugh and kissed him again, savoring the taste of his lips before stepping back. “Yes, one of many things.”

His smile turned sly. “I’ll do some more things you like when we get out of here.”

“Such a sweet talker.” She nodded at a nearby shelf. “There’s a Captain Kirk bobblehead over there.”

Hunter’s entire face lit up, and Bobbi watched him dive in that direction, biting her tongue to keep from laughing. Someone had asked her once, after some stupid argument she’d had with Hunter and they’d retreated to different corners to sulk, if the sex was really worth it. Bobbi had replied with something flippant about keeping his mouth occupied, but the truth was so much simpler. He reminded her of all the reasons the world was worth saving.

“Ah-ha!” Hunter held the figurine aloft, squinting at the underside. “The number forty-two. Wait, I know this one.”

Bobbi glanced up the ceiling again while Hunter rummaged through the bookshelves and began to count the blinks. The keypad on the far door was a simple one, probably with a five-number passcode, and while her batons could short it out immediately, it was more fun if she could show off a little.

“Dammit,” Hunter muttered as a key fell out of the Douglas Adams book he’d opened. “We’re never going to beat twenty-three minutes at this rate.”

“You sure?” Bobbi said, punching in a series of letters on the keypad. The door unlocked and Hunter’s jaw dropped. “Told you,” she said smugly.

Hunter whooped and crossed the room, grabbing the door handle and her hand at the same time. “I have so many plans for you after we find this guy.”

Bobbi grinned. “Better hurry then.” 

—

_Four months later_

“Oh god,” Bobbi’s grip on Hunter’s hand tightened, and he winced but didn’t pull away.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” he said, not sounding sure at all. “Unless you really are having an alien.”

“Hunter, don’t think I won’t kill you just because I’m carrying your child.”

“Then who’s going to help with diaper duty?” 

“I’ll make Mack do it, he owes me big time.”

“I don’t remember several rounds of fantastic sex and your freakish fertility being part of the mission plan.”

“My freakish fertility?” Bobbi squeaked. “This is entirely your fault!”

“You know what? I’m happy to take all the credit for this.” He pulled her hand up to kiss the back of it, and she knew her eyes must be just as wide and worried as his were. Bobbi darted another look at the ultrasound machine, then at the door. The nurse had left a moment ago, saying she needed the doctor, and Bobbi’s heart had leaped into her throat.

Shakily, she pressed a hand against the side of the little bump that was their baby, trying to avoid the sticky stuff they’d smeared over her abdomen. “Lance,” she whispered.

“It’s fine,” he said more firmly. “We’re going to be fine.” He reached out and stroked the curve of her hip. “All three of us.” The paper on the table crinkled as Bobbi shifted and tried to regulate her breathing. Their last checkup had gone great, and she’d felt the baby move just this morning. There couldn’t be anything wrong, not now.

“Good morning!” The doctor bustled in, all smiles, which did nothing to alleviate Bobbi’s concern. “Let me just catch up here,” she said, picking up the ultrasound wand.

There was a long silence as Bobbi stared at the monitor, watching intently. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see a muscle in Hunter’s jaw tic, and she squeezed his hand. The blob on the screen moved and Bobbi blew out a breath as her imagination spiraled out of control. “What’s wrong?” she whispered.

The doctor flashed another smile. “Nothing’s wrong, we just need to confirm something.” She patted Bobbi’s shoulder. “You’re doing great.” Bobbi bit her lip, concentrating on the feel of Hunter’s thumb stroking her hip instead of the slimy goo smeared over her stomach. “Yep,” the doctor said, glancing over at the nurse. “You’re right.”

“Right about what?” Hunter asked, his voice strained.

“Congratulations, it’s twins.”

Hunter opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again, but nothing came out.

Bobbi blinked at the doctor, taking in the indistinct shapes on the monitor and her expanding belly. “Lance,” she said, her tone preternaturally calm.

“Bob,” he said, his voice hoarse.

She squeezed his hand tighter. “We are never going to have one whole hour to ourselves ever again.”

**Author's Note:**

> For Ness and Al, who asked for aliens and babies (but not alien babies). 
> 
> I'm on tumblr @robotgort!


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